One Crazy Day

The following story contains a diaper and the stuff that happens in a diaper. If you have an aversion to poop and pee and things like that, please read no further. If you do continue; consider yourself warned.


For some reason, I decided yesterday that it was a good day to take all four kids shopping at Winco. Winco, for those of you who may not be familiar, is a large grocery store with cheaper prices--yay! The downside is that you bag your own groceries. (And trust me, when shopping with four kids, this is definitely a down side.) On our way we drove through the Starbucks drive through and I got my grande, extra hot, nonfat white chocolate mocha with no whip. The kids got ice waters. By the time we got to Winco, the ice waters were empty and the bladders were full so our first stop inside was, of course, the bathroom. Waiting outside the restrooms with Kyla, my 12 month old, in the cart, I realized that I should probably check her diaper too. She had a painful diaper rash so I was trying to keep her dry. The older three kids finished and then waited for Kyla and I right outside the bathroom with the cart. I went into the large stall that contained the changing table and proceeded to change Kyla's diaper. Okay, so this is my fourth baby, she's a year old--you would think this would be pretty uneventful...unfortunately, it was quite dramatic.


Kyla was upset the moment she saw the changing table. She despises having her diaper changed any time and the painful rash tripled the normal protest. I laid her down, talking to her gently, trying to calm her. When I opened the diaper, I saw that she was not just wet and it was not just normal poop--it was the kind that sticks in little tiny pieces to the bottom and does not want to wipe off.


As I was cleaning her as gently as possible, she was screaming in pain and literally writhing trying to stand up and get away. I finally got her cleaned up but by the time I was finished, she was standing on the changing table, leaning against me, still crying in pain and anger. When I laid her back down to put the clean diaper on her, I realized that the changing table was wet--she had peed while standing up. So I quickly picked her up so that I could dry the changing table. While I was doing that--she peed some more, this time on my leg. So I held her away from me and she peed more on the floor. Then I finally laid her back on the changing table and she peed more on the changing table. She just kept doing it in little squirts--screaming the whole time! By the time I was done, the changing table, her pants and shoes, the floor around the changing table, and my leg were all wet with pee. Somehow, I succeeded in getting a dry diaper on the baby, though I have no idea how I did it. Then, I grabbed an antibacterial wipe from the diaper bag and cleaned the changing table and the floor and got out of the bathroom as quickly as possible mumbling apologies to the mom who was waiting to use the changing table.

The rest of our shopping at Winco was quite dull compared to this beginning, so I'll spare you those details. We succeeded in filling the cart with canned goods, frozen food, and produce and then spent an eternity at the check stand while I bagged it all. We resorted to two carts to take out the groceries and filled the back of the Suburban. As we headed for home, we made two other stops for science fair project supplies. We are studying biology...but that's a story for next time.