Change

Change. This word alone incites an array of feelings in different people. In fact, this word causes many feelings in just one person. When I hear the word, I feel both excitement and apprehension. I know it seems like they would be antonyms to each other but I have learned it is possible, however disconcerting, to feel both simultaneously.
Like most people, I find comfort in the certainty and predictability of my routine. Changing things in that routine is hard because it brings uncertainty and unpredictability. I balk at change. I know it's going to be difficult--and lets face it, we humans don't like to do anything difficult. You can see this through history and even the stories of the Bible. God asks someone to do something different and they argue, sputter, and test God until they finally obey Him. Take the stories of Moses, Gideon, the Israelites, Jonah, the Pharisees all as examples of us humans resisting change--and these are all changes being made by God himself.

Change is also exciting. It's new and we like new things. Sometimes I start feeling bogged down in my same routine, almost like my routine controls me. In these times, change can be refreshing.

Our family is going through a huge change right now. My husband has a new position as the lead Pastor of a church in Montana. So, we are in the middle of packing and moving from Washington, where we have lived for the past fifteen years, to Montana. We are saying goodbye to lifelong friends and our daily routine and I am feeling this mixture of feelings--excitement and apprehension. When people ask me, "How do you feel about this change?" I think I must give them a blank look as all of these feelings swirl around inside me. How do you answer a question like that? It's definitely not a one word answer!

The one thing I can say that I feel during this change with a certainty is peaceful. Yes, there is chaos, uncertainty, apprehension, and excitement all at different moments and sometimes within the same moment but blanketing all of these emotions is peace: Peace that I know we are on a path on which God has placed us--peace that I can allow God to work out the details. Through this whole huge life-change journey, I've been sitting in God's huge, loving hand and allowing Him to move me forward in His perfect timing. I watch the path in front of me shrouded in fog but revealed just enough to move forward one step at a time. I know, as I sit in his hand, that he's worked out all the details ahead of me, even though I can't see them yet. Peace. Our verse for this time in our life has been Proverbs 3:5,6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." We have truly seen God keep this promise to us and we are excited to see what lies ahead.

My Fight with the GPS

Have you ever argued with your GPS about which way is the best way to get where you are going? Recently, my GPS and I had our biggest argument ever! I usually listen and just go the way it's telling me to go but this time I knew what road I wanted to take and my GPS was insistent that I go another way. I wanted to take the main freeway and not the old back highway. The problem was, I was in an unfamiliar place and had no idea how to get to the freeway I wanted. I tried all sorts of tricks and finally used my iPhone. The whole time I followed my phone, my GPS kept "recalculating" and trying to turn me around. Finally, it looked like my GPS and phone were giving the same directions so I turned off my phone and started following the GPS again. By this time, it had been about a half hour ordeal and I was feeling quite triumphant that my way worked. Then my GPS took me right back to where the whole thing started. I was so frustrated. Angrily I waved the white flag of surrender and followed the dark back road which the GPS insisted I take. It worked out fine. I got home safely. If I had just followed the GPS in the first place, it would have probably been a faster route than my way.

How often do we treat God the way I did my GPS? We come up with the greatest plans. Plans that sound safe and make sense to us; but God presents a different plan. Instead of immediately surrendering and following Him, we debate, argue, connive, and try to make God see our point of view. We try to make God see why our way makes the most sense. We even try to go our way despite hearing God whispering or maybe even shouting to turn back around. For some reason, we forget that, just like the GPS has knowledge of all of the roads around us and where they lead, God sees the big picture of our life. He knows what's best for us even if we don't understand it in the moment.

The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV), "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths." The Message says it like this: "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track."

Following the Same Conductor

My husband recently took a business trip for six days. The kids and I missed him but we sort of fell into a different routine of things than normal. We were like an orchestra that was suddenly missing an instrument. We stumbled around for a day or so but then, like good musicians would, we changed the beat a bit and fell back into a rhythm of sorts.

I noticed, at first when my husband returned, we were playing to the beat of different drummers if you will. I had to step back a bit and let my husband take on the responsibilities that he usually carries. It always takes me awhile to adjust to this. It's like that musician jumps back into the orchestra still playing to the same beat as when he left and the rest of the orchestra is playing something different. We all regrouped, of course, and started playing our beautiful Geer family melody but it took some adjusting for sure--perhaps on my part more than anyone.

There are some things that my husband and I do to stay on the same page when he travels that I think help make this adjustment period easier and quicker. One thing that I do is I text or email him pictures and updates about the kids and I throughout the day. Now, of course this isn't a constant stream of information to the point of being annoying--I only do that when I'm really trying to make a point--but I give him enough to still feel connected with our normal everyday life. Another thing we do is talk on the phone every evening if possible; even if it's just a quick, "I love you, good night." The most important thing that we do is that, despite playing different songs or variations for awhile, we follow the same conductor. We stay close to God even though our routine has been disrupted. When we come back together, it's easier to get back into sync because we are both looking at the same conductor patiently moving his arms to the beat of the song. This is not to say that we don't stumble around a bit at first during the song change of course but because we've stayed connected, we can look at the stumbling with a bit of humor rather than frustration.

I love my husband and I love that we can stay close even when he's far away. Kevin, I'm so glad to have you home. :)

Everyone Has A Story

Today, I went clothes shopping for my husband and daughter. I took my two-year-old with me and made sure to put a package of fruit snacks into my purse to pull out at just the right time. We went through the Starbucks drive through (thanks to a gift card from my husband). After that, we proceeded to the one department store that was closest to home and then the consignment store to look for a "spinning dress." When the shopping was completed, I came home, made lunch for myself and four kids, and then encouraged them to finish their jobs and school work. That put us at about 1:00 and the day continued in more details and comings and goings.

What I didn't think much about today, is that everyone else had their own stuff going on at the same time as I did. Somebody somewhere woke up in a hospital this morning. Somebody was clothes shopping at the same time and place as me. Somebody didn't have a gift card and so couldn't go through the Starbucks drive through. Somebody received a promotion today. Somebody celebrated a birthday. Sometimes I live my life so self-focused, I'm afraid I miss out on a lot.

It's easy for us to get wrapped up in our own lives and not notice those around us. It's easy to forget that everyone has a story when we are so involved in our own. Jesus is a perfect example of living His story while at the same time, paying careful attention to other people's stories. In fact, His mission, the purpose for His story, was to impact other people's stories. As we become more Christ-like, shouldn't that be our mission too? Unfortunately, we tend to get buried in the pages of our own sadness, happiness, or routine and forget to interact with others.

Here are some questions that I am asking myself:

1. Am I so wrapped up in my own story that I am not a part of other's stories?
2. Is my routine so busy that I am not taking time to see other people around me and listen to their stories?
3. What can I change in my schedule, routine, or attitude so that I can better appreciate and enter into other people's stories?
4. If I am a part of other's stories, am I a having a Christ-like impact on them?
5. Whose story can I intentionally become a part of?

He's Changing Me

One of my favorite books at present is a book that my friend gave me, entitled Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. It is the fictional story of a woman named Katherine written in the form of her journal. The entries begin the day she is sixteen years old and continue until after she is married and has children of her own. Though it is fictional, it is written with the purpose of the reader learning life lessons from it--not solely for entertainment purposes. One thing that impressed me about this book is the way the character grew and matured in the Lord. As a reader, and someone looking at the whole picture, I could see a huge change in her from the time she was sixteen to the time she was married with children. Yet, in her journal entries, she often lamented her immaturity and lack of spiritual growth.

I find myself often doing the same thing. I get so frustrated when I repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Discouragement can come easily when I dwell on my many shortcomings but reading this book gave me another perspective. If I step back and look at my life from the time I was sixteen until now, I have grown, matured, and changed drastically. It is an encouraging reminder that God is continuing his work in me--constantly teaching me and molding me into the person that He ultimately wants me to be. Until I reach heaven, I will not be that completed person and that's what this life is, my journey towards heaven to be with my Lord, Savior, and Friend.

"So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord--who is the Spirit--makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image." 2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT

*If you're interested in reading the book, there is a free audio-version here http://librivox.org/stepping-heavenward-by-e-prentiss/ or here http://www.booksshouldbefree.com/book/stepping-heavenward-by-e-prentiss.

Best Friends

I love being married to my best friend. Are you married to your best friend? Because people are always changing, learning new things, and in different phases of life it is easy to lose that friendship and just be living two lives side by side--especially with the busyness of children and their activities, work, bills, pets, house upkeep, other friends, and the list continues.

My husband and I are intentional about staying best friends--here are some of the things that we do:

• We find things in common that we like to do, and we make time to do those things together.
• We stay interested and engaged in each other's work lives. So if my husband is reading a book or going to a conference, I try to join him. He stays engaged at home with me and the children and loves it when I send him updates throughout the day of things that are happening.
• We talk about deeper things than the weather and not just about our children, though we do talk about them a lot! For instance, we might discuss politics or our Bible reading for the day.
• We learn new things together like a game or a new hobby.  Recently we've started geocaching which is a fun whole family activity. Now we are on the hunt for a new board game.
• We give each other space to have our own individual hobbies.
• We pray together.
• Sometimes, we read a book together--and I do mean we read it out loud together! It's been awhile since we've done that one but it was a great experience that we will repeat.
• We have date nights and actually get out of the house without children.
• We laugh together.

What are some things that you do to intentionally stay best friends with your spouse?

A New Year--A New Hobby

I have never been successful at making New Year resolutions. A few years ago I finally made it my New Year resolution to NEVER make a resolution again because they just made me feel like a failure. I have been successful at that one but I still feel like I am missing something when I don't make a resolution.

This year, following my wonderful husband's example, I decided to take the opportunity to learn something new. For some reason, I've been wanting to learn how to knit. My mom gave me a book, DVD, and starter kit for Christmas. I bought some cheap yarn at Walmart (which I probably won't do once I learn the basics) and I started.

So far, I have learned how to cast on, knit stitch and cast off. I am now making a practice scarf just so that I can learn the knit stitch really well before learning the purl stitch.

Surprisingly, it's sort of addictive. There is a therapeutic rhythm to knitting. There is something calming about the repetitive motion; the organization of it. It is almost mentally relaxing--definitely not physically relaxing though. My shoulders tend to stiffen up and I've discovered muscles in my wrists and hands that I previously didn't know existed.

Knitting is a detailed process. It takes time, creativity, and thought, especially when making something with a detailed pattern. I love the picture of God knitting me together. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." (Psalm 139:13 NIV) He has a plan and though I am not a completed project I trust Him that His pattern for me is perfect. I'm excited to see the way He's daily changing me and looking forward to someday being the finished product.

Learning something new has been a fun approach to the idea of a New Year Resolution and I already feel successful! Here's a picture of my practice scarf so far.

Yes, I know I'm using the wrong yarn for the pattern. It's not bulky enough for the pattern and the size of needles that I'm using. I know there are some holes where I dropped some stitches--don't know how to fix that yet. It's definitely a work in progress (just like me) but it's good practice and my daughters will be vying for it no matter how it looks.